I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
