i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
