a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
