Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
