I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Randomize
