never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
