I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
