and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
