im holly from the hills drunk
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
