I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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