he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
