you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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