sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
