Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
where are you?
Hypothermia
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
