Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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