what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
