Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
