I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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