You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
