he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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