Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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