forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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