I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
