Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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