I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
