we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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