Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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