she was so not down for the gang bang
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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