Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My life is pants optional.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
