Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
