I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
