So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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