I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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