You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you traded sex for a burrito?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
