I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
