I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
