have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
i believe in u and ur pee
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
