So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
