My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
