do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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