I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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