I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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