stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
