He kissed a someone with a penis
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
