In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
