I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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