Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
