Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Randomize
