It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
