i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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