check it out our google latitudes are spooning
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
