3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
