Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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